Unorganized

Unorganized, ugh I hate that word. Do you know why? Because I am Unorganized sometimes, well uh who am I kidding I am a lot of the time. I get sooo frustrated at myself. You would think that if someone thought something was important, cared about something, or simply had to do it they would just do it. Well things do not exactly go that way with me. As I said in my first blogg, I am a dreamer I reach for the sky. My problem is I take on to many responsibilities, tasks, and interest believing I can do it all in a short period. Instead of looking at things in a more realistic view and working on them everyday I want to make leaps in bounds instead of taking things a step at a time, where I then stumble and overcomplicated things. I have so many dreams and aspirations that I want to fulfill, it is so frustrating that I am the cause of being Unsuccessful. Imagine that, it is not anyone in the way of your dreams and goals it is you, is not that horrible, I‘m fighting my own demons. It's not that I'm careless or impassioned I care a lot and I'm very passionate about my dreams and goals, it wouldn't make any sense really If I wasn't passionate because in that case I wouldn't be soo frustrated at myself. You may find that what I feel unorganized about is unimportant or insignificant, but it is a big deal to me. I may have super high standards for myself that are unrealistic which leads to disappointment. All I know is that I just want to fulfill all my goals and interests and have everything together without having to lower my standards. I just want to be like those people that have everything together, balance a million things while still being super organized and sane lol. I know it will not be perfect all the time and I will stumble and fall sometimes but at least I will know most of the time, I have all my things together. What I struggle with you may find easy others may hit home to you. I am the least punctual person you will probably meet. I am probably late to places about 90 percent of the time I am giving myself a little credit there. I find it hard to make deadlines, and I cannot manage my time very well along with a million other things. To make things worse I close up around a large group of people and find it extremely hard to be the happy, talented, extroverted person that I truly am and who I am around close friends and family. Yeah how am I supposed to pursue all the things I love like acting, singing and so many other social things, when that happens? For now, it is about my organizational skills, my selective introversions, shyness and low self-esteem is another story for another day.